You know how every once in a while, there’s an item of clothing your kids live in so much, that it almost becomes a part of them? It almost represents them at this particular stage of their life? For some reason they must feel so comfy in them, safe and secure, they just feel “at home” when they wear it. For Mateo that item is his blue pyjamas. A gift from his grandparents to his older brother years ago, they have been worn and loved, and now he has made them his own. I feel these pyjamas have accompanied him and brought him a sense of comfort and familiarity through so much change and disruption to his normal routine.
He is coming up to 6 months of chemotherapy, 6 months which have passed as slowly and painfully as drops of water squeezing through a faulty tap for me, but which he has taken in his stride. He is well, he is still smiling, when he plays he plays full on, and when he needs to rest he lies down, preferably piled on top of Mummy or Daddy on the sofa! We have learned to follow his cues and ‘join the flow’ with him, sometimes he might be feeling some nausea, sometimes his skin becomes really dry and itchy, sometimes his port becomes red and swollen, sometimes we don’t really know what he’s feeling as he doesn’t speak much yet, so when he plays we play, and when he lies we lie with him…. taking it one day at a time.
But coming back to the blue pyjamas, as everything flows and comes and goes in life, he is starting to grow out of them…. For me they will forever be a reminder of how little he is, and what a big challenge he’s had to face already in his life. I’ve decided that when he eventually grows out of them I’ll keep them folded up in a little corner of one of my own clothes drawers. A reminder of all the terribly big things this tiny little boy will eventually overcome, in his tiny blue pyjamas…
One day I will show him, and tell him all about it….
Artifact motherhood is a collaboration of artists and mothers from around the world. Sharing stories of the joys and struggles of our journey. Our hopes and dreams for our children. With little nuggets of wisdom here and there. These are more than photographs with dates written on the back. These are the artifact we are leaving behind for children and the generations to come. Continuing the blog circle, next up is my wonderful friend Hollie.
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